If you could just hear what i got to say, everything else is fine
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Saturday, 23 October 2010, 1:35 pm
Reverting
Been going through my memories... Reading my old blogs... Talking to people from my past..
Linking back all the missing connections in my memory. Its kinda inevitable that I will recall all those depressing and broken memories. And I've come to realize that I've not moved on... My heart still remembers the pain clearly from back then. I haven't forgotten the pain nor have I gotten used to it. I just cast these feelings into the back of my mind hoping that I will not look through it again. I 've been escaping and not moving on.
I've always thought that I have gotten used and have become stronger in the process but I was all wrong... I was just putting up a strong front and I feel like I'm unable to show my weak side to my dearest friends anymore. I'm lost with no one to rely on.
The old emo boy is coming back to me.
Maybe its because of the 2 years of solitary, that I've forgotten who I really am. Army didn't change me but more of divert my attention. I've been enjoying the company of my camp mates and keeping my mind occupied, but now that I'm free to ponder about stuff, things start coming back to me.
I might be just trying too hard to be strong and reliable for my friends. I wonder so much...
I hate the person i was but now I am who i was back then, nothings changed. The tendency to frequent MIA is coming back to me... The only difference between the person I was and now is losing the will to hate and hold grudges. I no longer have the will to fight, and I can't bring myself to hate anyone not even those who had hurt me deeply.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know how I'm feeling now...
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Vanity isn't a sin, a little narcissism wouldn't hurt.
The Writer
Name:Rhyian Quek
Nicks:Lucire, Kai
Sch: TGPS, NVSS, RP (graduated =p)
Horoscope/Zodiac: Saggitarius/Dragon
Age: 21
D.O.B: 12 December 1988
Country: Singaporean Chinese
Hobbies: Sleeping & Gaming
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BFFs:
Bei
Ying
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+ Lets start all over again...
+ October 2010
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+ February 2011
An accidentality production
Inspiration from DancingSheep & BONBON:D
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